Already got asked if we're dating
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The uberlube is also flammable
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
