He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize