just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
