Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
