OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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