I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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