the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
