I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize