She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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