Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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