hotel room ftw
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
