I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
