Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
