Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
