Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
