I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize