It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
