We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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