Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
