I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
