I must be too annoying 4 u.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
whose parrot is this?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
