I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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