you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
