why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
