I'm so fucking centered right now
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
