i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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