Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
