I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize