Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
