I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
third nipple confirmed
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
