If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Randomize
