So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
