Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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