I have demons in me.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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