I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
they're like a gay fantastic four
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
