it was like his penis was on wheels.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize