He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
