the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
