So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize