I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
