you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
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