Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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