Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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