This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
