A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
