so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
