Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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