I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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