I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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