your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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