I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
