i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
