You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
