R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
