Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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