Are we in a gay sports bar?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
