am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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