When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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