Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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