O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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