part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize