I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
