i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So. Much. Porn.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
