You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
