Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
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