i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
